Everyone has an inner critic. Some are just louder than others. And if your inner critic is taking over in your mind, it can not only be hard to silence, but it can also impact your confidence and performance level. In fact, in many cases, those negative comments can often turn into self-fulfilling prophecies, further fueling the cycle. For instance, if you think "I'm going to blow it" before a major performance, then guess what? Even if you're wearing the coolest hip hop clothes or dance supplies, you probably will, which will give your inner critic even more ammunition the next time around.
Sometimes, an inner critic is a mere annoyance. Yet in other cases, it can become a self-destructive force, driving negative feelings about yourself and diminishing your self-worth. We all have an inner critic -- but if yours is becoming stronger with every passing dance season, then it's time to take back control and silence that negative voice. Here's how:
Understand you're not alone.
When you look around at dance class or rehearsal, it's easy to think your fellow dancers have it all together. But know this: many people tend to be overly critical of themselves, especially those in creative fields, like dance. Having self-doubt and harsh self-judgement is likely something many of your fellow dancers struggle with, as well.
Understand your thoughts.
You might be so used to your negative internal dialogue that you don't even give it much thought anymore. But that's part of the problem. If you want to fight your inner critic, then you need to be more aware of it.
So work to start paying closing attention to the dialogue going on in your head and realize also that just because you think something, does not make it true. Your perception may be your reality, but it's not fact. And, as humans, we have a natural inclination to exaggerate things or see situations in a disproportionately negative light. Realizing this is an important step toward taming your inner critic.
Don't wallow.
One of the biggest mistakes dancers -- and any performers -- make is wallowing in negative thoughts. If you had a bad day at rehearsal or made a mistake on stage, own it, recognize what you need to do in the future to avoid it happening again, then move on.
It's when you think about and roll over a mistake over and over that you're going to undermine your self-confidence. And if you don't make a concerted effort to fight the urge to ruminate, you're going to replay events again and again in your head, leading to more bad feelings.
If you're having a hard time getting your mind off of something negative, then go for a walk, go to the movies, or go out with friends. Just aim to distract yourself with a productive activity. That way, you can put an end to critical thoughts without them getting out of control and taking over.
Look at the facts.
Human beings tend to look at the negative. In fact, we may even be hard-wired that way. But that doesn't mean the bad stuff is necessarily accurate or true. That's why it's always important to look at the facts of the situation.
So you had a bad day at rehearsal. Maybe you stayed up too late the night before and didn't get a good night sleep. Or perhaps you skipped breakfast in the morning because you were too busy to eat. Examine the issues that led to your bad performance and then work to rectify them going forward. Make an effort to sleep and eat well, so you have good rehearsals, rather than getting too down on yourself for one bad day. Whatever the case for your circumstances, looking at it critically, from a rational point of view rather than an emotional one can help you see the truth behind every situation.
Step out of the situation.
It's easy to be hard on yourself and cast harsh judgement. But would you do the same for a friend if they made the same or a similar mistake? Probably not. You'd tell your friend to look on the bright side and also build them up with encouraging words.
When it comes to ourselves, though, we're far less caring and compassionate. With thoughts such as "I can't believe how stupid I am" and "I'm such an idiot," we don't have that same kindness for ourselves. That's why it can be helpful to step out of the situation and pretend it happened to a friend instead. What would you say to them and how would you make them feel better? Then treat yourself in that same manner.
Look at yourself as a work in progress.
It's easy to get down on yourself for all that you're not. However, instead look at how far you've come. Maybe you haven't mastered a certain step, yet. But think where you were at the same time last year or two years ago. You've likely come a long way since then and with enough practice and focus, you'll continue to evolve and progress. So accept your flaws and limitations and simply look at them as areas you can work to improve over time.
Replace the negative with positive.
Your inner dialogue can be a huge factor in your success on the stage and in the studio. And if you don't work to tame an overactive inner critic, then you could sabotage all your hard work. So try to come up with statements you can use to replace the negative ones.
For instance, don't tell yourself you'll never perfect a certain move. Be more honest and accurate and say something to yourself along the lines of: "This is a really complicated move and will take me a little longer to master than I'm used. But rather than getting upset and frustrated, I'm going to channel my energy into getting it right. It will come eventually."
Get some new dance supplies.
If you're feeling down on yourself and need a boost, invest in some new dance wear, like hip hop clothes, or dance supplies, such as fishnet gloves or sequin suspenders. What you wear reflects how you feel about yourself, so make sure you're putting your best foot forward each day with comfortable and great-looking apparel.
Your inner critic can be valuable in that it can help you spot weaknesses and work to improve them. It's when it becomes overly critical and takes control of your mind that it's problematic -- impacting your performance in the process. But if you follow the tips above and practice taming your negativity, you can coach yourself to be more positive and become a better dancer.
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