Imagine this scenario. You're wearing your favorite dance pants or hip hop shoes and go to try a new move. You hear snickering behind you and turn to see the class mean girl making fun of your attempt. This kind of behavior is immature and hurtful. And if it happens on a regular basis, where you feel targeted by one or more of the same individuals, then you're likely experiencing bullying.
It's a sad reality that many dancers today have to deal with bullying -- in the studio and outside of it. While bullying has been a hot topic in the news media, it's an issue that has been around for a long time. Not only that, but when you consider the competitive nature of the world of dance, as well as the focus on physique and body image issues, bullying can be something that runs rampant.
So if you're the target, or you see a fellow dancer going through this, what can you do? Here are some tips to help you deal:
Understand the situation.
Is the person bullying just mean by nature? Or are they trying to cope with pain going on at home or in their personal life? It's often the latter and bullying simply gives them an outlet in which to channel their negative emotions. It also helps them to feel in control at a time in their life when they feel powerless at home or in other areas.
In addition, bullying can also stem from other issues such as low self-esteem and insecurity. If a bully sees that you are better at something than they are, then instead of working harder to improve, they will take their own anger and frustration out on you.
Beyond that, bullying is also often something that's learned. For instance, the dance class bully might be bullied by a parent or sibling at home. They're simply mimicking the behavior that they're seeing on a daily basis.
Whatever the case for the particular bully you're dealing with, it's important to understand that while you are the target, you're not the problem. There's something else going on inside of them or at home that is leading to their behavior in the studio.
Ignore the bully.
Many times, bullies crave attention and aim to get a rise out of you; for instance, by making fun of your dance pants or hip hop shoes. Getting a big reaction out of you can make bullies feel like they have power over you. That's why, if you ignore them, they'll eventually grow frustrated and give up. So don't respond to their mean comments or threats. Instead, simply walk away and pretend you don't hear them. Once they come to realize they aren't going to get the reaction they want from you, then it could stop them in their tracks.
Confront the bully.
If that doesn't work, then it's important to stand up for yourself. Bullies tend to prey on weaker people and often respond to a show of strength. So if you feel comfortable enough, then confront your bully. If you call them out on their behavior, then it could go a long way in stopping it, especially if you show them that you're confident and not going to tolerate the situation any longer.
Get help from someone you trust.
If you don't feel comfortable confronting your bully, or if things are escalating, then it's time to get help. Talk to a parent or your teacher and explain the situation. Give them specific examples of what's been going on and how it impacts you. Whatever you do, don't stay silent and simply accept the situation. This can become a major source of stress and anxiety in your life if you let it continue. Not only that, but you may begin to feel a sense of shame and embarrassment, which can lead to a negative impact on your self-esteem.
Practice stress management, like shopping for new dance pants.
Going through a situation with a bully can be an incredibly stressful situation. Even if you have a positive self-image, it can still be overwhelming and upsetting. That's why you should talk to someone you trust so you can successfully manage the situation. Just talking out your problems can go a long way toward reducing your level of stress.
In addition, during this time period, take good care of yourself. It's especially important that you're eating right, getting plenty of sleep and exercising. Some other self-care tips include meditation, yoga, jogging, and participating in any other hobbies you enjoy.
Don't be a bully back.
Just because someone is bullying you and hurting you doesn't mean it's ok to treat others the same way. Instead, it's best to confront the situation head on and get help from an adult to diffuse it. Look to your family and friends as a source of support. And don't ever target or bully a fellow dancer or classmate just because it's happening to you.
Get the support you need.
No one ever deserves to be bullied. But when you're facing this situation, you can feel alone. That's why it's so important to surround yourself with friends and family; those people who make you feel good about yourself. It will increase your happiness and confidence, and help you weather this difficult storm in your life.
If the bullying is severe, you might even want to consider counseling to help you deal with the ramifications and negative emotions. A counselor can help you gain a healthy perspective on the situation and offer mechanisms you can use to help you cope with it.
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